Donnerstag, 25. November 2010

Methods to Cultivate Children to Follow Your Words but Independent

A "rebellious" kid must be also a "hungry" kid; many of his expectations such as being understood, being cared, being permitted and being appreciated have not been satisfied. Hey Stars! Keep Away from wedding dresses ! A "too obedient" child must be "depressed", he thinks that disobedience is a danger, and only listen to their parents can he acquire their loves. For the kid who is too timid, his sense of independence might be unable to get developed, he has to depend on others to make a living and could not be couragous enough to break free. For the kid who is too rebellious, too headstrong, the situation of failing to have his parents' virtues passed on to him might happen, besides, when the kid growns up, he might find it difficult to adjust to this society.How to Deny the Bruise of your ed hardy clothes

Both sides are worrying, we want "obedient" and "independent" children, however, we found it very difficult to do, can't we eat our cake and have it too? For such problems, I used to discuss from the aspects of "balance of education", "moderate retracting" or "rules and freedoms", but later I found that if explore from the perspectives, it is easy to fall into the dilemma that "it seems the speaking is reasonable, but hard to be done". Have a Look at 10 the Most Popular wedding dresses as Gifts for Daughter This Year Because the so called "proper" and "balance" is hard to be sure. So is there any better understanding or method can help us? The answer is yes.

Please take a look at the following words:"What kind of people we want our kids grow up to be?" "What kind of parents we are going to be for our kids?" These are two similarly inked but essentially different angles. In accordance with the logic of the former, "what kind of person we want children to be," as if "what kind of man the child to be" can be [wanted" by [us". This is obviously not valid, because children have their innate temperament, and they have their own choices. In fact, what we can grasp is not "What person children will be", but "what parents should we be". It is the largest difference between both. If we focus on ourselves rather than children, we will have the fantastic feeling that we are able to control it.

For example, if you want your children to be obedient, we can try to be parents whose words are proper to children. Then you can think about how can we reach the goal of "children are willing to hear what we say". In fact, this is not a very difficult matter. Do not make a promise easily (such as gift or trip), and once you have made a promise, you should keep it in the heart, and if you can not fulfill it due to special condition, you should give a sincere apology, just as we apologize to our friends; Laying down clear rules, that is, telling them what is allowed and what is not allowed, such as making an arrangement with your child to let him know he is allowed to buy only one tool, but he can choose what to buy. Then, when he has got one but still wants another one, you have to refuse him firmly. At the same time, no matter how low performance price ratio the toy is, how unsuitable it is for your kid, you can not turn him down because it is you who gives him the permission to make his own decision.

Many good-intentioned parents are willing to do anything for children at any cost, but children are not close to them. This is because what parents give to children is what they want rather than what children want and parents do not know and even are unwilling to know what children want. Children want to play with mothers, while mothers think love is to give children extra classes at high cost or get a tutor, but they are not willing to spend time playing with their kids and think it's less important. This child can not feel about, but the "love" which can not be felt about has been given without asking. When the children become depressed in their bottom of heart, they will rebel or alienate. To teach children to do or not to do something can also make children feel those are "for his sake." For example, do not play with electrical sockets to let him feel that is for his safety.

How to make it felt? To show him what the danger is. Another example which is to be "learn now, and there will become a way ", such words are what children can not feel about. Because he is so young that he has no concept of "future", what we can do is to let him feel the "sence of accomplishment of score" and "intrinsic happiness of learning".

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